Your sister thinks she pees out of her clit. Did you have Sex Ed or Sunday School growing up?
I've been thinking and really it's a miracle I haven't had an STD yet.
It's finally official that I am from Oklahoma. I'm currently sleeping with my ex-fling's brother.
Let's just say for some reason we thought it was okay to make a burrito smoothie.
$1.99 mimosas n bloodys til 3. Happy hour starts at 4. We're gonna ride the mechanical bull to kill the hour inbetween.
Please take video.
Grown men dancing to Spice Girls and a girl wearing one shoe. I belong here
This bowl of cereal would be the size of a giant's bowl-piece. It's. that. big.
How much did you smoke??
I'm out of mixers so I am using sugar water. Times are tough.
well I think it'll pretty much be gone by Saturday. On a scale of 1- Snooki's unborn child how much do periods freak you out?
I FEEL like I celebrated someone's 21st, but really I just celebrated Tuesday.
For the record, it's NEVER ok to discuss my stripper-related injuries with my fiance.
Fuck edible panties there is a dress made out of bacon
if masturbating while stoned isn't called "weed whacking" then i just don't know how to live my life anymore
Between his smile and monumental dick even the virgin mary woulda blown that man and I am far from the virgin. I didn't stand a chance.
They told him he could only pay in monopoly money and he pulls out a wad of it from his pocket... i think im in love
Randomize
