You can't wash away shame.
I can try.
Fuck U Mike is a golden god.
Mike give steph back her phone.
We video chatted for almost two hours. But I woke up with puke on my keyboard. The question of the day: were we still chatting when I vommed? No idea.
We discussed how the marijuana was making the dopamine float around our nucleus accumbens last night when we were high. Yet another example of how our science classes are perverting our good times.
Fyi when u order four mini bottles of scotch on a 45 min flight. The flight attendants jaw drops to the floor.
Mom just texted me to see if it was you who was streaking at the Mariner game... Did you accept yet another $1 bet?
This morning two of his housemate threw confetti over me, started singing and handed me a make shift trophy out of cereal boxes and beer cans that said 'Harry's Virginity' on it. Fucking brilliant!
U can find me on my couch hungover eatin tuna evaluating my life
He drank his beer out of his own shoe. Its his "party trick"
I'm on the bus, watching a girl shush her balloons.
I didn't even have pants on and you think I had an agenda
Life update - currently drunk off my ass in the yoga room of SFO at 5:30 in the morning.
He must've been a bear in a previous life. My nipple is bleeding. Shit's sensitive.
I love that you put so much thought and effort into your nudes
I don't send half assed nudes. Go big or go home.
I can see. My condolences to your vagina.
Randomize
