You know, I didn't realize this at the time, but it appears that I am being "heavily petted" by 3 grown men in that pic.
If these were biblical times then you'd be a Roman Senator.
I wish I was a guy so I could jack myself off anytime I wanted to
recycled a plan b box. kill a baby. save a tree.
Just a heads up. Everytime I get arrested in Maine I claim I lost my ID and use your name.
come in to starbucks and ill make you a 4loko latte before theyre banned
Great I'll forever be branded as gym slut at the new gym.
Yes I have a handle on life. A handle of Svedka.
YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL.
I'm not sure I can continue to condone our having sex in all of your friends' beds
You told me I couldn't make out with you until I added you on LinkedIn
this night just went from meh to biblical thanks to drunk naked yahtzee
I have meat and whiskey. will you bring condoms?
10/10 dentists agree that he is one bangable mother fucker. hint: i am all of these dentists.
I decided we werent gonna go for round 5 when he started trying to have a serious conversation about how blessed he is to have such a nice penis
He has a point, the man's penis is a legend.
My boyfriend's mom is the manager of Wendy's. The same one I took a pregnancy test in.
Randomize
