direct quote: "i'm so over my clit" either best or most awkward conversation possible with your COUSIN
The sign in front of ihop says "designated drivers get half off their order"
you were drinking a pitcher of what you called "16 loko" and making everybody guess what the secret ingredient was
Your cum is still running out of me. I pity the next person that tries these jeans on....
I vaguely remember walking down the highstreet with a plate of K offering lines to passers buy. I sold a line to a taxi driver.
I'm not drunk enough to eat silly string
I think i morst likely have 95 %patulas for hands and probably i also went to eGypt with so manyfriends. We laids in the sarcaphoguses.
You sound pretty unsure about all of this.
Tornado booty call.. dedication
Gosh, I don't even have that. Let alone someone to tie me up and whip me with Twizzlers.
Dude I'm driving around California right now hiding little bags of weed in random places like Easter eggs so that I can come back and find them later
I've just been thinking about sangria a lot lately, like an adult.
I forgot my backup drink is supposed to be pedialyte and vodka. Add in the shit I'm losing as I drink. Win-Win right?
I mean. I just want to sit in my bed and eat bagels. What's wrong with that?
Company meeting and there he was. Felt a little weird like 'last night you were telling me how your dick loves me, and now we're listening to a report on sales figures'.
I saw the president of my women in business club at the bar last night...I was gonna thank her for teaching me the business skills to create my own fake to get in... then i decided not
Randomize
