it was terrible. i could've done a better job by myself.
it sucked. he totally couldn't get it up. blamed it on never having cheated b4. Couldn't stop laughing. fuck.
all I know is I'm really rwfly really really stoned and a bunch of Korean people are yelling at me
Cops said there's a crazy dude with a mask in my neighborhood. Don't get stabbed.
If he was naked that was me.
You better fuck one or both of those bitches and bring me pictures that will make me uncomfortable
I can do at least one of those things.
Haha I'm surprised I didn't see you I was drunkenly buying $70 in merchandise including a vibrating cock ring at that cvs around that time
Threw up on the baby. National Tequila Day is the eve of National I'm A Horrible Nanny Day.
If you make 120 dollars and I walk instd of drive and don't eat or smoke this week we can pay rent
that was THE gayest party i've ever been to
To be fair, the theme was Cabaret. I don't know what you were expecting.
I guess that's what I get for clicking on a link that says clown penis.
So apparently my mom hired someone who goes by "DJ Dog Dick" for the family christmas party?
He just pulled his sweatpants down and pissed in the middle of our garden
I had to give myself a suppository. That was the LEAST fun I've had inserting things in my ass.
After you punched me you ran away and it took an hour to find you... On the wrong floor... Sitting alone saying "it doesnt make sense"
I should have robbed the cradle years ago. Turns out 21 year old boys can cum and still fuck me silly a minute later. My vagina feels like it just won a car from Oprah!
Randomize