just had an encounter with drunk people from out of state at dairy queen. they wanted to stay till march to see the high school play.
Making pb&j crepes. Using corn tortillas. So high. I don't know if I'm offending French people or Mexican people more.
Well i have to fuck at least one of your roommates this year to keep the tradition alive.
The druken crowd just broke into singing "God Bless America" while waiting the newlyweds to get in the limo. My friend is eating rose petals.
Stop banging my friends. This is getting weird.
Stop being friends with hot 18 year old girls.
I spent the whole party making out with some guy. He wasn't that cute but six of my sorority sisters are fighting over him so I had to do something..
his version of basketball was throwing hot sauce packets down my cleavage at taco bell at 2 am with his buddy.the cashier kept score
I just gave a bum a ride back to his bench. Columbus is weird but I like it.
Do u like your dick pics shot in hotdog or hamburger orientation?
moms trying to set me up with a 28 year old. hes graduated university like im getting high in my bed and he's an adult
And that was the night we had mind-blowing sex with the score from Raiders of the Lost Ark blaring on vinyl in the background...
mcfuck me up
MCFUCK ME UP INSIDE
Shut up. The only friend I need in life is Jim Beam because life is meaningless.
I thought i was doing pretty well but I walked into my first class and everyone on my side of the room immediately asked how drunk and high I was
all I know is that I was naked, and there were cheeto puffs everywhere...
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