there are definitely too many half naked pictures of me out there for me to ever be famous.
I got my half for the rent already.I called the cops on the drug dealer neighbor and got a 500 bucks as a reward
Just wanted to make sure that my favorite hot mess is still alive. I dont need words, just a response of any sort. K hope youre living
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This is sufficient.
I just gave head in the laundry room on campus. He said it was one of the best moments in all of history. Take that, neil armstrong.
Your scrotum should have touched every square inch of that place by now. Start with the water fountain.
First off, get on bc solely in preperation for this event. Second, as my little sister you have a lot of whore to live up to.
I was trying to make tacos and friends but there was a major language barrier.
She kept looking at me and saying "you are the scary high".
The girls at the police department photocopied my drinking ticket and told me to frame it and hang it on my wall. Then they gave me a free muffin and told me to party smarter next time.
The party got busted because you two got caught having sex on the neighbors trampoline, come on man.
Remember when I got my car stuck in my backyard?
Who died my cat blue again?
My sex life is driven by spite and alcohol
Seriously, I really just burned my nipple making ravioli.. I'd explain, but no reasoning makes this acceptable:/
A drunk frat boy just jumped on the hood of my car while I was driving down Bridge St. He yelled at me to keep going since he was playing frogger and needed another car to jump on... or a log. I hate this town.
Randomize
