no, i'm proud of you. this is the happiest you've been since you discovered that bowls can be used as cups if you don't feel like washing dishes.
Can we fast forward to the part where we get gyros
Best friends brother. Beat that.
your ability to fuck hot guys even when you go out in sweats amazes me
I want to break his glasses with my pelvis.
Super awkward when the coworker you made out with in exchange for molly last weekend keeps coming over to your cube and trying to talk to you
Nothing quite like walking through a spider web on your way back in from smoking to fuck up a perfectly good high.
I just called my boyfriend "Dad"... Awkward
we're like the harlem globetrotters of underage drinking
.......he just venmo charged me for the burrito I was eating while he broke up with me
So.. I was kinda upset i got the bad fuck out of the situation
dude can you explain to me why i woke up on your sisters floor with moutain dew and chips everywhere
i dont know im at your house.
Well Jon got a DUI sleeping in the back seat so I thought the trunk was safer. BUT WHO CARES WHY JUSE PLEASE COME LET ME OUT!
He told me he would make me come so hard I would throw up. I'm actually horrified that he thinks that's something any person would want
Dude my cat is eating sugar cookies with me. No joke. My cat likes cookies.
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