An ex-gang member just asked me out on a date via note. And spelled dinner wrong. Win?
Sam from lord of the rings is 10 yards away from me, i am creaming myself.
WTF?! TAYLOR SWIFT JUST WON ARTIST OF THE YEAR OVER MICHAEL JACKSON?! WHAT IS THIS WORLD COMING TO?!
dude. she was texting with her nipple. I love touch screen phones!
at first I thought it was funny, but looking at it now, it screams "dramatic" and "medicated wipes."
Just spent the last of my lifesavings on (what i hope is enough of) alcohol. Hello summer.
You would be married by May if you put half as much energy into getting straight guys as you do into getting gay guys
You know what, I don't care that I got too drunk and didn't make it into the boat party. If I had, I probably wouldn't have peed on you later while we soundly slept. I feel you need that in a best friendship.
Hahahahahahhajahahahahajajjajahjahahajahahajajahahahajjajajahahjajajajajahahahajjjajajaahhahhahahahahahahahaha dominos taxi
I feel like having peed on eachother is a point in our lives we should never have gotten to...
I was only out of town for 1 week. His cell records show he texted 63 ex-gfs and hookups while I was gone. And 10 condoms are missing.
It tastes like you we're too lazy to shower and instead just sprayed yourself with Febreeze.
You have a very discerning palate.
There is a BIG difference between doing coke and getting peed on and getting peed on FOR coke
He woke up, yelled "RALLY!" and then puked in my glove compartment
Your anal douche was on bathroom counter. Now it's in dumpster. Not ok. I am mad. Very mad.
Randomize
