Just saw a girl that looks like Michelle Obama and Im strangely aroused by her. Does that make me a democrat?
it's not our fault the pink and the sink are so close together.
We just saw a waitress walk by with a tray of bacardi and whipped cream.
Whoever ordered that deserves a pat on the back and the "classiest customer" award
you lied. pity sex is amazing.
dude there is absolutely no room for a slide in our room
All I I know is that there's 2 new contacts in my phone. Drunk Backdoor and Gayass Handshake. Thanks, Jameson.
I just want to have weird supply closet sex with him... and then I'll be all set. Fired, but all set.
Well. It was around 3 or 4 in the morning. He ran into the woods. Wearing moccasins. Holding an extension cord. He was trying to catch a deer. That about sums up the awesomeness of the night.
I send him pictures of my tits whenever I feel like he's paying too much attention to his girlfriend.
I puked in a solo cup and then offered it to him. So yeah, it was a rough night.
whats our policy on dating high schoolers?
we dont have a policy but im pretty sure the state of michigan does
Nice. The Governor's son bruised my vagina.
That's going to be the title of my memoir.
Hypothetically, I throw a party and my ex-boyfriend and my current fuck buddy are in the same house... what should I do?
How many beds are in the house? Hypothetically...
I vaguely remember ordering a water at some point last night. It's good to know drunk me can still be responsible.
Hypothetical question: Would it be wrong to tell the annoying children who don't listen to their parents that the motel is haunted?
Randomize
