oh my god im such an asshole. i just asked the guitarist of bad religion if he was a scalper.
Are we still dressing up as garden gnomes for halloween?
No. I would like to get laid again before I graduate.
after last nights cooking expirments i have lost all faith in the fire alarm battery
so this was truly a case of the blacked out leading the blacked out.
Your excuse of not making us Mac and cheese was that you couldn't find 6 cups of water...
boy from dating site added me on facebook. i don't know if i'm ready for him to see what a drunk i am.
it's like a walk of shame rule, you always run into someone who saw you wearing that yesterday
votings over. no more wacking it to anti christine o'donnell ads
Do you remember anything yesterday that led to needing a cup of couscous in my closet?
I think their strategy was based on people bein at a beach, seein a rainbow, and havin an orgasm at the same time.
Travelers Top-Tip: Europeans do not appreciate being repeatedly referred to as "gypsy" regardless of how good your Borat impression is.
I was lying there too hungover to move when my dog jumped onto my bed and set half a calzone on my pillow. Best. Dog. Ever.
Im going to be coked out with hello kitty fire arms. Valentines day can suck my dick
Smoking a bowl and ordering Dominos, you want in on either, both, or none?
I don't get a "my roommate is fucking you" discount?!
Randomize
