roommate just walked in on us. two and a half times. the half, she just knocked, sighed, and walked away.
It was like a Michael Bay sized explosion located in my pussy.
the jail released me with 39 mardi gras beads. I need details.
Ian has mac and cheese all in his bed/on the wall. Either you did it or he fell asleep with a bowl in his hand and spasmed in his sleep.
Cooked or uncooked?
I just fucked 3 marines at the same time...how did you celebrate veterans day?
i just recognized the girl sitting across from me from a lesbian porno... should i ask for an autograph?
Yeah, my mom walked in on us. Instead of yelling, she went and hid in the bathroom til we finished. It was pretty classy.
I think the pivotal moment was when we used the see and say as a drinking game with shots of whiskey. It was all downhill after that.
Oh my God. He stopped counting at 22.. His senior year. I feel the STDs infecting my taint as we speak.
Honest opinion...too aggressive to bring the funnel out to the bar? Also just so you know im at the bar. with the funnel.
She started telling me about this odd patch of smooth skin under her boobs. Not sure if she was hitting on me or looking for free advise from a doctor...
I mean, I still played with her tits for like 20min tho.
I said that I'm avoiding parties and guys, and the freshman girl just laughed
he told me he didn't like my name so he was going to call me Casey instead
He bought me shrimp and alcohol and referred to himself as daddy. I am in love.
All I remember is you shouting "THIS KID IS A FREAKIN' NINJA!!" when he dive rolled over a barbed wire fence and proceeded to ask for his 18th beer.
Randomize
