btw.sex in the wood isnt as romantic as it seems.heels kept sinking in the dirt and pine needles were sticking to the fishnets
i wish i had your life
I can totally hide my daquiri in my sling.
ra ra ra ah ah
wtf?
sexting lady gaga style
i gave her road head last night, needless to say it wasn't the same and i bit a chunk of the inside of my cheek off.
It's like he's trying to get head in every car except his.
As a female I reserve the right to put my ipod in my cleavage because I have no pockets and not get judged by other girls right??
Let's just say trying to drink my weight in apple pie shots looked better in theory.
There comes a time where you just have to sit back and watch the drunken idiots pee on each other
Why would you fall asleep? This is why i cant drink with my lesbian friends anymore. They take my clothes off and get vodka in my top ramen. Only yoouuu can prevent forest fires.
Do you think wearing a shirt that says I like penis is too much for tonight?
The friend zone. He put me in the friend zone. But said he still wants me to suck his dick. I'm in the dick sucking friend zone and I want to die.
Why is there puke in my guitar?
Because you puked in your guitar.
I'm literally rolling on acid for the first time during Thanksgiving. Help me.
We aren't doing Shrooms tonight bc that would be friendship cheating on you
I had a dream that we had an entire sofa made out of cocaine.
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