Erica just called me. She woke up in a storage closet in Mike's building with one shoe and no bag. Can you check your photos from last night to see if she had it at the bar?
It's pouring out. I am cold, wet, and miserable.... Kind of reminds me of our sleepover last night.
I am currently eating pure cake frosting...I am not sure how I was ever referred to as a responsible adult.
A freshman just referred to Home Improvement as 'tim the tool man show'. People born after 1990 are not people.
Yes, that's a picture of my balls. It isn't however an answer to my question.
Okay. We're coming naked. We need Saran wrap and plastic forks.
Oh that's what I forgot last night.. To make out with her.
he just kept texting even after we lit his shoelaces on fire. he just calmly walked into the pool... still texting.
This morning I found four opened yet full beers on my desk and my towel rack pulled off the wall and in bed with me
Current state of being: shivering like a new born kitten on the bathroom floor
Sorry I twat blocked you earlier I didn't know Sam was over. But, my house my rules, I don't have to knock before I enter. I did see naked butts and smelt "Sex Stank" in the air, we're going to have to set some ground rules when I get home. Hugs and kisses..Mom
Apparently swingers are magnetically drawn to me?
Hey I know we haven't talked in a while, but I wanted to thank you for those m&ms you bought me for Christmas. Sorry I never got you anything then broke up with you.
Were we still high when we decided to break your leg?
welp, we watched the human centipede high last night and my mind literally shut down, when i came to all i could hear was mel saying EAT EAT HIS SHIT
Randomize
