Someone sent me a drink from across the bar. It was water.
We'll both be dead in approximately 72-96 hours, with you bringing your liver out of retirement again, Favre.
You passed out across the stairs with your feet and arms through the railings so you "wouldn't fall down when you blacked out and no one could get the pizza past you without waking you up". \n\nYou're the smartest drunk I know.
I need the number of a restaurant that delivers, has lock-picking abilities, and is okay with full frontal male nudity. Entirely too hungover to get out of bed.
She slapped his drink out of his hand to get him to leave the bar while he and I were having an intense debate about the lyrics to mmmbop
I may or may not be wearing slippers and a TMNT hat. This thing better not have a dress code.
Im at that shitty point in my day where I start planning night activities while finger dipping vyvance off of my desk, you got any plans?
I'm attracted to him because he looks like the kind of guy who would lick my asshole without me having to ask.
Drinking hard cider in a room full of freshman girls. Never felt so secure of my manhood
I probably wouldn't
You thanked me for a delicious cock and tacos...
I told the American that we should start banging in Canada incase I get hurt and have to go to the hospital.. is that rude to say?
How fast can you get here?\nI need to ride your cock into the sunset.
Fuck you. I've got onesies to keep me warm at night. And this bottle.
What'd I miss?
Erotic hypnosis and studded dog collars.
We're pretty sure we got naked at Pride, so running the two blocks to your place in my underwear is a step up the dignity ladder really.
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