Different chick, same blowjob, same parking lot.
you're in nursing school, now tell me what to do about a burned clit.
I told the girl in his bed not to bleed on his sheets like the last one.
They turned the water off again. Brushed my teeth with whats left from those pitchers of mojitos. So hung over i dont even care.
I think I suffocated him while I was riding his face
Somewhere in the night I send my Dad a text stating "YOU failed as a parent"
When he goes down on me, he stares me in the eyes like a shark mocking it's prey as it devours it. Plus, his beard smells like dirty gym socks. This has got to end.
we are still finding bottels filled with his pee. tom almost drank the one in the frig
I'm just gonna get real fat and join the circus.
Can someone please explain where the fish in the mason jar came from when we were at a bar all night?
You told the bartender if he gave you one of the fish you'd go away
sex in a hospital.. check
I'm just concerned as to why his penis is two different colors.
I just woke up butt-naked in bed with a guy I've never seen..I reached into my bag next to the bed to get my phone and found a bag of shrooms, a handle of vodka, and 600 dollars that I've never seen. what do I do
enjoy it.
Hot guy next to me on the flight lives near my grandparents. There’s a 100% chance I end up drunk and naked in his hot tub
Happy Thanksgiving to me!!!
Coworker just walked in thirty minutes late reeking like weed and clutching a handful of scratch-off tickets. Also, there’s still a stripper pole in my office. Happy Wednesday!
Randomize
