is it true that cum stays in you for 7 years?
that's gum
JoAnns office is warmer than mine. . .it must be because she has the gateway to hell under her desk.
went to library to start paper due tomorrow & took those orange addys u gave. now realizing they were ur xanax. completely fucked and going to fail, but calmly at peace with the situation.
Captain Phil from deadliest catch died... im trying to think of a memorial fb status but "ill miss your crabs" doesnt sound right
No joke. Last we saw of him he was naked and dragging that stupid goat into the bushes.
This girl just stopped in the middle of a sentence because of my blue eyes. She said she got lost in them. I am laying pipe tonight.
I'm going to look like a jackass in the Mexican newspaper tomorrow.
Oh, I forgot to ask if u have any idea what happened to the back of my ear and if u were present when I almost fell off the roof...
You do realize there's a subtle difference between not remembering your outfit from april 17th of last year vs forgetting that last night you undressed in the street and were grabbing every dick you could reach, right?
Most violent shit of my life. New Years resolution of eating better is already kicking me in the face.
He started screaming "fuck me I'm Ryan Gosling" and proceeded to pick up the smallest guy at the party and carry him to bed.
I've gotten 2 singers numbers, a 6'5 dude has promised to take me to Oktoberfest, and I spent the night w a pilot named Zeus who looks like caramel tastes. Also I sprained my thumb punching some guy I named 'hater'. I love Nashville
It's cuz all she eats is salt lick, human souls, and fast food
I'm taking a shower and i'm gonna bring my pocketknife with me
Bring me pizza. I'll trade you your underwear you left here for 2 slices.
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