did i leave my keys in your car? BTW: sorry for throwing that drink on your date.
im in a kiddie pool, high, with a keg in arms reach. If i had a sandwich and a blowjob this would be the best day ever
careful when you do the walk of shame, they are handing out bibles on campus
I just caught Brandon licking the fake chocolate on a smores ornament
These old people don't even realize they're giving me weed money for shoveling snow.
i'm in workout clothes. this is progress.
No, he grudge fucked my ex so I wouldn't be tempted to get back with her. He is either the worst or best friend ever.
Because its an amazing idea and you're the only one I can think of that will allow a pirate threesome
I went out in a blaze of glory. I failed the field sobriety test by saying ABCD FUCK YOU.
Some dude peed on tonys floor because drunkness
They offered him a bucket as he was peeing and he was like "Nah, I'm good"
You were a cyclone of alcohol and bad decisions - like a gay Tazmanian devil
I support your vibrator fueled lifestyle.
Breaking news: when you're gone every towel is a dick towel
I've had your balls on my face a bunch of times so the least you could do is buy a girl some dinner.
hypothetically, what's the best method to remove an stray semen gob from a roommate's important school document?
Randomize
