carls jr on main st. japanese tourist taking a dump in the urinal. reading a japanese newspaper and wearing a full suit.
be there in 3 mins
big game today.. looking forward to seeing that magic win, and then i will celebrate with a nude dip in lake Eola.. anyone else in??
And her vagina tasted EXACTLY like a slim jim
in case you blackout.. this is confirmation that yes, you were sitting spread eagle on the kitchen floor chugging pickle juice out of the jar.
It would have been the trifecta of dick for her.
you said you would race him to taco bell but you slipped in the parking lot and just laid there, crying
Myy bathroom floor makes me think I'm on Mars. Also. Did you realize that yesterday we perfected thee mind high-five??
He used Kanye West lyrics to justify what happened and I accepted his logic
I'm sorry, the person you're trying to reach is WAYYY too high to deal with this right now.
Well, I got fired yesterday. At least I already paid for my Adele tickets.
I am available for nakedness
i'm high and self actualising, please send help
God specifically crafted these hands to deal out orgasms.
I mean seriously with your cock and my tits combined we could rule the world. Pinky and the brain style
You made me take you back to Mcdonalds so you could yell at the guy for not giving you enough ketchup packets
I vaguely recall french fries...
You then proceeded to call your mom and tell her you weren't coming home because you were "tripping balls"
Sweet...
Randomize
