O.A.R does not stand for Old Recycled Abortions.
she was definitely a virgin. no ones that bad unless theyre a virgin
your sister was..
he woke me up at 3 am to ask me where my plunger, a towel, and staples were. i'm afraid to go into my bathroom.
all nice guys are gay and all hot ones are assholes
You're fat. Stop making excuses
I think I need to stop sleeping with him. Sex with him is just a reminder of the mediocrity of the rest of my life.
My cab driver has a hooker in the front seat. Really, this is serious. And weird.
She just asked what would happen if you put a vacuum in your butt and turned it on. These are our conversations.
And I wasn't prepared because its been a very long and lonely season and I wasn't expecting to find dick at Press Box trivia night....
Paige is home safe.
Actually, she's here now, punching me in the face. You should've kept her keys.
we're like the harlem globetrotters of underage drinking
How do you clean human pee out of a carpet
Inconspicuously
COME AND FUCKING GET ME I AM IN SOME SORT OF JUNKYARD!!!
I just had a visual of u banging and screaming at him at the same time.
You can accomplish quite a bit with a can do attitude and a well placed ice cube.
Apparently i disappeared and no one found me until the morning , but i have fifty missed calls
Randomize
