i'm ready for this baby to gtfo so i can get coked out.
It's very clear that i'm the girl sweating out four lokos at 2 in the afternoon at the gym
I think im drinking tonight later on...which is good cuz i walked pass the liquor aisle the other day and i swear i heard a kid call me a pussy
It looks like the misc $300 credit card fraud might have been our taxi cab driver who wouldn't take boobs as payment. No wonder...
i shit in a pringles can and hid it somewhere in your house....happy hunting
it was like vegas minus all of the penis and death threats
Day drinking is so dangerous way too many construction workers out there to flirt with
I think you should just bang him and get it out of your system.
That's what you say about everyone.
I met her daughter,who I went to high school with on my way out this morning. She didn't seem to surprised. I love older women.
I tried to take home a cat on broadway last night. I named him Pinocchio and put my purse down on the sidewalk and tried to put it inside it
So my Mom pointed out my vibrator on the night stand next to my stun gun and reminded me of how much I drink.
Literally sucked a dick for ten seconds before I said to myself, this tiny ass penis isn't worth it. My night last night
What! I said that you would fall in love? See I know better. Dark liquor makes me think everything is a dream. I barely remember saying that
Well, you started screaming "I dont know you GO AWAY" to your mom when she was holding your hair as you threw up in her garden.
Grandpa just whipped it out and started pissing on the way to the game stuck in traffic. I saw EVERYTHING. :(
Randomize
