he quoted Bring It On. It's over.
Dude, you just left me a 3 minute voicemail of pop rocks in your mouth. Im sitting right next you
brittany murphy hurts far more than michael jackson, patrick swayze, etc because i never masturbated to any of those other people
he forgot there was a midterm today. i watched him break his own finger to get out of it.
He called me while he was having sex and asked if I wanted to go get mcdonalds
It's a piss down the stairs of the hotel kind of night
This dude has my number from April last year. Drunk me left sober me a puzzle. No confirmation of pants off business
You were running around drunk in a Toga chasing the frat's Husky. Of course they remember you.
He's not actually Jewish. Turns out he just wears the yarmulke to cover his bald spot.
Never thought I would be taunted by little kids about my walk of shame
Just letting everyone know that I am still alive after last night. On a related note, this is the 15th "I'm not dead!" mass text I've sent. You've got to celebrate the little things.
An old man just slapped my ass and handed me five dollars while I was filling chips at subway. I feel violated, but that was the easiest five dollars I've ever made.
I just did a walk of shame on my own block. one of the old neighbors saw and greeted me "good morning, girl next door"
Riddle me this: I can stream porn just fine but try and watch my college class and nooo it won't work
Be there in 4 minutes
she was sitting on the toilet asking for me to take a "cute facebook profile picture" for her
Randomize
