Did you hallucinate the same white buffalo that I did last night.
No, but I did see you shaking hands with a homeless man.
i have a feeling tonight will end in rehab
omh. i just found SHIT IN THE SHOWER! who the fuck does that? and why do i always seem to find it?
when i woke up this morning i blew my nose and ash came out.. i'm not sure what to make of this.
I am literally too baked to press the call button. How am I supposed to bone him?
you kind of just crawled on top of him. that was the point at which i became concerned with how drunk you were.
Tinkerbell just flew up to me and tickled my balls. What the fuck did we smoke?
Just had to masturbate in the bathroom because mom changed my room into a "knitting" room. I hate coming home.
My mom just asked me if I can obtain a fake ID by thursday
My serious response to your Cathy tattoo inquiry- Do you ever want to get laid by someone not wearing a Blossom style bucket hat? Tattoo accordingly.
If its possible to have a hickey on your nipple, I have one. Thank you.
I threw up this morning to Silent Night playing in background. It was actually quite soothing.
Do you ever get high and look at your cat and feel like you know them on an intellectual level?
You're right, I'd say my real all time low was when I let that fifteen-year-old feel my boob.
I was eating leftover taco bell in bed at 3 in the afternoon. I can't throw any stones
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