I love college. Only here at ten in the morning can you hear "Man, hot sauce on my pussy was my worst idea in a long time." while walking down the hall.
just heard a tri-delta girl talking about her drunken escapades last weekend...it's like the exact plotline to a hardcore porno.
Drinking at work by myself... My boss just walked into me copying my face on the copy machine..
the more i look through evidence of last night, the less i seem to remember.
I don't know but the stairs are covered in apples
Cats found the secret coke stash again
They owe us $80.
He unbuckled his belt, tipped his hat at me, then told me to "saddle up"
this is like your 5th cowboy right? where do you keep finding these guys?!!
That's right. I did.
You are the saddest 25 year old gay man I've ever had the displeasure of knowing.
Well, I saw an Olympian's genitals tonight, so it can't be that bad.
At the ER. John needs stiches. Fuck pub trivia nights.
Why did I wake up with BYOB sharpied on my stomach
My roommate is fucking his gf in the shower and i really have to pee do i just bust in or pee on his bed
Got so drunk last night I kinda sent a super on point sext to his kid sister...say a prayer man
I think I should've done my makeup before I took the acid. Because now I just feel silly looking at myself in the mirror
I may or may not be drunker than time right now.
Randomize
