shotgunning a bud heavy is like shotgunning a turkey sandwich
people should stop making movies, we'll never top bio-dome.
On ecstasy, in Ikea. this is incredible.
You know, it doesn't really count as a walk of shame if you guys showered together the next morning
and then we all passionately sang "what if god was one of us" until everyone passed out in the grass
I drink to make the karaoke go away.
Okay I shall begin. Thank you Swedish chef
Hurrfy smmurdshy burrfst!
That is the exact response I was looking for.
I woke up in a hospital at three in the morning only to realize my pee is now going to be orange. I've grown to realize I've made all the right decisions
I dont know it just seems wrong to fuck her on my exes back porch
I mean I'm not saying I have my life together but I did just put nerds in a bottle of champagne and then drank from the bottle
SO EXCITED ABOUT STRING CHEESE RIGHT NOW
i'll talk to you in three hours when you've stopped foaming at the mouth and your eyes have rolled back into place
There's just something so liberating about drinking a beer with no pants on
it's not rock bottom until you fall down an escalator on the way home from a hookup and have to have you dad come pick your drunkass up at 3am. Adulthood.
Why is the turtle in the toilet again?
Well as I was puking in the tub I put him in there to keep me company but I am almost positive the original setup was him in the tub and me next to the toilet...I hope he likes tequila
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