Don't make out with my wife yet
I'm eating all of the evidence.
My penis is the apex of life and all other references. Lookin for a cheap vagina at this point. And cheap Korean BBQ
Just found out that wake n bake is not one of the 7 habits of highly effective people..
the way i see it him paying 500 bucks for my fake abortion is karma's way of punishing him for cheating on his wife
So from the residue on my balls I think it was mashed potatoes she had in her mouth
Yeah... I was considering changing that part but the boxed wine is non-negotiable.
stuck in traffic next to occupy boston. smells like patchouli and unshaven pubes
The walls are thin & apartments are narrow so all the bedrooms are next to each other. Our complex could compete in synchronized orgasms.
It's 11am on 4/20 and I'm already in urgent care.
I may or may not have puked in the ladies room. Now I get to convince my client to go to substance abuse treatment. Oh, the irony.
It's Christmas, you should know what a virgin is.
Well you ended up trying to convince two Greek girls that you were Greek, but failed massively by shouting at them in Spanish, and then almost vomiting after taking way too much snuff. Maybe lay off the guinness next time?
There are way too many people I have fucked in this class for this not to be awkward
I don't know..He walked out of your room with a kraft single..and blood on his shirt...He really wanted cheese.
Randomize
