I'm pretty sure I left my reasoning skills at home last night, and just brought anger and rage with me.
Using pot as a way to stop crying probably isn't a good sign huh?
Meh, some people pop Prozac, you smoke weed. Po-tay-to. po-tah-to
She's NOT homeless...she graduated early.
No, i'm not gonna let you give me a footjob on the floor of the cheesecake factory. C'mon.
I dont think punching her boob is the type of reverse psychology that will get her to blow you.
this is your 3rd pregnancy scare in 2 years, I think its time for you to re-evaluate the whole 'im a lesbian' thing
Apparently I tried to convince him to sleep with me by showing him that I could do dips....
Believe it or not, that's part of the whole 'best friend' thing. It's not just yelling at me for making you leave the club early or taking the couch bc I'm doing sex while you're doing bjs.
I take it we used my cleavage as a pen holder last night during the graffiti party. Looks like the colours of Crayola exploded all over my chest
Just woke up from a first date on the futon watching Arrested Development by myself, him cuddling another chick in his room. Simultaneously the best and worst one night stand in history.
Bonus: took me 2 hours to get home on the streetcar cause I spent my cab money on drinks for his friend last night.
yeah, never be friends with someone with shitty eyebrows.. they obviously already make poor life choices
Guess who just enrolled into online classes at Hogwarts? This gal.
You spent like 10 minutes trying to hit a golf ball that was actually a cigarette butt. And then fell over.
8 minutes into the New Year and and I've already sent a nude...new year, new me?
I think it might be the guy sitting next to me. I've concluded he HAS to be smuggling insane amounts of onions in his wardrobe to smell like that
Randomize
