I am pretty sure the guy in the stall two dwn from me is jerking it...seriously
She is just riding on my slutty coat tails.
We don't have a lot of plans besides weed and cake
No kidding. I just keep looking at that 'under 21 until 11/21/2011' on my id and whispering "soon enough"
Thanks for gettin' me home, killa. Have no IDEA how I woke up pants-less on the bathroom floor at 4a.m. You're like a big, angry guardian angel.
"it's Wednesday" isn't a good enough excuse to take my debit card and use it for your own drunken needs. You owe me 250 bro
I have a cat, a bottle of wine, and a Brazilian man. I need to catch you up on my life
What is their policy on bow ties and belligerence?
nothing like going to the bathroom, running into the wall, thinking its a person and saying"its ok i just had the 4 beers" even the wall knew i was lying
When you're really drunk, Japanese toilets just have an unnecessary amount of buttons.
you licked my face then when I finally got you to the bathroom, mid puke you said you liked the taste of my foundation.....you weren't drunk at all....
CURRENTLY PLAYING FLIP CUP WITH A WORLD SERIES CHAMPION
holy shit the yoga instructor bought his baby pig to class today
I just took a shot before my midterm. Gotta keep things in perspective.
If you wanna do actual business call my office. If you’re just looking to get laid you need to up your game
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