i was blowing him and "what if god was one of us" came on his playlist. I had to leave
This morning I saw a frozen puddle in front of my RA's door and I laughed, assuming someone poured water in hopes that she would slip and fall. That's when my roommate told me I had peed there last night. Thank you Captain Morgan!
Just try to lay there and not be pregnant.
He asked me why my bellybutton was so ugly... and wondered why i wasnt in the mood anymore.
His health insurance plan WILL NOT cover Lasix surgery but it WILL cover 100% of a penis enlargment operation...
she got into med school, i feel dumb for banging her dance major friend
The girl I hooked up with in exchange for Ramen freshmen year is living with the girl I currently wish to bang.
Try oodles of noodles this time.
I'll give you $10 to get a dick pic with a gecko on it.
I have to deal with three things I do not like this weekend. Pooping in toilets that are not mine. Air mattresses. Not beating off in the shower.
Three Architectural classes: $990.00 Architectural supplies: $300.00 Changing majors and using my architectural supplies to roll blunts: Priceless
He said it was fake. Like really? Hey baby, I wanna sleep with you, so here's a picture of a fake tiny dick
Sorry about the Christmas balls dude. At the time I thought they were festive as fk but I see now I've just spent too much time on the internet
I someohow managed to lose my butt plug in tne midst of moving to B.C. and I am not a happy camper.
My vagina measures dicks. It's accurate to the half inch.
you were shouting "me peeing on him is the closest he'll EVER get to my vagina!"
Randomize
