FYI..good luck when you get back from work.. mom and dad know about the boy you brought home last night
haha good one..how did you even know?
we all know. he obviously didn't leave when you might have told him to.. he came down when we were eating because he coud smell mom's cooking. the dude ate with us and offered to say grace. so yeah, good luck.
did you know delaware is a STATE? HOLY CRAP! i didn't till i was hitting on this chick and asked her when she said she was from delaware, which state that was in. crazyness
Just got head while drinking hot cocoa and eating cookies. Never in my life have I felt more like santa claus
He could list all of the presidents! Every one, and in order!! I was so impressed the least I could do was give him a blow job.
Ah, yes. Making our founding fathers proud.
Let's make jello shots for tomorrow
What's going on tomorrow?
Nothing, it's Wednesday
all a guy has to do is give me sprinkles and cookies and they can get me in bed
he thanks me after handjobs.
you found the perfect man.
So I have the hangover from hell, spent all night puking, and there's a septic tank truck parked outside the house literally pumping shit. You win God.
Since i didn't have a condom I told him to use jump ship method, I think I was overly invested in my sailor costume this year.
It's amazing I mean I blew that senator just for him to deny me marriage.... Politics suck and he swallowed!
Lol I screamed "GOT AN ORDER OF VERSACE TACOS UP" and the whole kitchen was just like who the fuck is this kid
At one point we were both in the bathroom and i was taking a shit while holding your hair as you puked in the sink. Friendship.
Our prom king just sent me a dick pic. I know it's 10 years later but I feel like I've finally made it.
I dunno what's worse, that one guy here said he'd blow somebody for Tim Horton's right now, or that someone else looks like they want to test his sincerity.
Come get me, I'm fucking scared.
Also I know now I was meant to be a comedian. Had both arresting officers laughing.
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