If Andre Agassi did Crystal Meth, what was John McEnroe doing?
I'm on the strip, it's like a mini new years eve. Some girl just got taken away on a stretcher with her meter margarita in her hand claiming it's trophy for being awesome. Damn tourists are lightweights.
Yes..we had amazing sex that I have a 50 percent chance of remembering.
Condom broke. Took her to CVS for plan B and parked in expectant mothers spot. I laughed.. she cried
I really wish you were half the slut you're sister was in college
The baby slept soo good last night. Its like he knows the importance of me being intoxicated all weekend.
Take advantage man but know that every anal bead u drop inside her will make her love u 2% more. It's science
just remembered spooning on the cardboard and confessing to each other we had the spins.
when the officer asked him if he had been drinking, he just goes, "yeah, you?" then falls onto the table.
All three shower stalls were filled with couples fucking and then someone yelled "switch" and... We switched
I own a halfway home for drunk girls, this is my life
The salesman at the smoke shop just told me my hair is glorious...
his daughter has his phone and goesss ohhh boobies and shows me a picture of my own tits...
The fact that you got a stranger guy to buy you a pizza off tinder makes me feel amazing
Bahahah I should. I’m the free range drunk girl who should clearly not be free range because who knows what kind of fuckery I would get into
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