I just ate 10 fun sized 3 musakteers.. I'm pretty sure I'm about to start my period.
Talk to you next week
Bro can a girl get pregnant if i jizz in her mouth?
hahahahahahahahahahaha
I feel like death. And death is wearing a fleece blanket as a dress. And is seriously contemplating wearing this to go get something to eat.
I never said you were fat, just too fat for ME
idk if ive ever seen a picture of him on facebook with his pants on
What would you have done with a 40 foot neon parrot anyway?
Threw a lawn chair at the neighboors dog. I think I killed him. Come here and assess this
I have Retrograde Ejaculation as a side effect from one of my meds. Is this a respectable form of birth control?
The girls danced. I drank. Then I danced cause I was drunk. Then I ripped tim's shirt off cause I'm awesome.
Shit dude that sort of wholesale destruction can't just be done at the drop of a hat
Cockoligist
Yes, one may refer to me as that.
I should make business cards.
Lmao I should put that ad on Craigslist "in need of muscular and determined team of men to carry drunken birthday whore safely home"
Did i tell you that he's legal and i got his number? Because he's legal and i got his number. THIS BITCH AIN'T GOING TO JAIL YET
He's good looking but he really sounds like kermit the frog, can you imagine how fucking him would sound like?
If you wanna do actual business call my office. If you’re just looking to get laid you need to up your game
Randomize
