Get your hand out of your ass!
how did you know my hand was in my ass? Guess where my other hand is..?
In your belly button
kristin has been a bad kristin
PS Can you transmit a UTI to a sexual partner? I tried to ask, but the doctor just told me to abstain (sup Bristol) for my own good w/o answering
I need to stop drunkenly getting naked. I'm losing all my favorite party clothes.
According to this USDA thing I just read, I should either get upper respiratory issues or begin to bleed from my nose and mouth.
I'm getting turned down for sex. Apparently my "sexual appetite" cannot be satiated even by a man who's such a deviant he went to prison for jerking off in his car.
Good news: I actually puked in my bathroom, the vomit from the living room was actually from someone else.
That's horrible but hilarious
I'm going to miss college.
If you think for one second that I would forget Mardi Gras, you clearly don't know how much I love boobs.
I just want you to know that I think it is hilarious and wonderful that 40s are now your alcohol of choice.
I woke up sandwiched between them, all of us naked, and they were just sharing a cigarette, a donut, and the paper like it was just some normal post-threesome Sunday brunch.
if a girl cums in a dorm room and no one hears it did it really happen?
Thursday is not a good day to become a felon... It's bingo night
I hope Trump leaves Planned Parenthood alone for at least another month. The week got away from me. #whorelando
I woke up with clothes on this morning and I'm pretty sure you had something to do with that. Thank you.
if it makes you feel any better you looked really comfortable while you were sleepin in the closet, atleast according to the pictures i woke up with on my phone
Randomize
