I have a feeling that after last night, i'm not just going to hell. i'm going to hell on a full scholarship. free admission bitches
Let's start a violent farting gang. We can do walkbys.
I just puked in the walgreens aisle buying gatorade and advil for my hangover... i guess i failed
she has over 3,000 tagged photos on facebook. dont tell me she isnt annoying.
Even if he doesn't call, at least I can say i fucked a mascot.
He went to WalMart with $30 and came back with a watch, a basketball and an engagement ring.
I just said "okay we have 20 minutes to get each other off, ready... Set... Go!" and he picked me up and threw me on the bed. I almost came just from that.
We bought only tequila and Twister. And you're STILL surprised you got pregnant?
We smoked weed. AS A FAMILY. IT WAS BEAUTIFUL.
I lost the right to judge tonight
I'll just say I told you so at your funeral
girls shouldnt black out with american flag bandaids on their nips
Like people our age are getting engaged, and I’m out here spooning with a giant unicorn I bought at Walmart on Black Friday.
Chicks dig it when you smell like bong water and frebreeze.
I’m mid 4sum and you’re sending me photos of your cat. We had very different evenings.
Randomize
