can you pick up canola oil? she lives by wegmans
who is canola oil?
you're an idiot.
I just put a picture of what I imagine Rob's dick looks like on it on my vision board. thank you Oprah!
I'm sorry for coming into your work place and trying to smuggle you out in my purse.
We had phone sex and he came in his sink. i will never eat off one of his plates again
do you remember the combo for the lock to my pants?
No, this is non-alcoholic oatmeal.
I feel choking has become trendy-- ita losing its effect. I may just have to go back to missionary to spice it up
You slammed your forties down on the table and yelled "I AM EDWARD FORTYHANDS" then mumbled something about repping Idaho like a champ and laid down on the couch.
Come out Saturday. It's for my lesbian daughter from the future birthday.
fuck it. im taking monday off to do some Jagering.
He fell on top of me at a party. I slept with him a week later. We've been fucking for 2 moths. Most successful relationship ever.
By the way I peed in a mug last night cause you were in the bathroom and im pretty sure it is still in the kitchen.
You know you're in the hamptons when it's 10pm And you kind of want to vomit white wine on rug that costs more than your apartment.
Omg the world wants us to be better people
I refuse
Did I, at any point last night, say I was dying?
Randomize
