i only shaved half my leg
on purpose
judging by the mobile uploads you added of me last night, we cant keep living this way.
woke up with the dennys waiters MYSPACE link on the back of my receipt...yep one of those nights
There's a mouse. In the house. By the cans. With some pans. Release the cat. To eat his hat. Sorry about the mess. Of my breakfest.
No but seriously, there's a fucking mouse in the house by the beer cans
As an added bonus, you will have a "25 blowjobs a month" voucher, expiring thirty days after the first initial bj.
Oh if I trust ANYTHING about you it's your ability to lead a douchebag around by the dick
Seriously though a big penis is like a puppy dog, or a sunny day or some other glorious thing
You are such a penis elitist
Fire alarms went off at reception of gay wedding im at. We all had to evacuate until FD got here. Then...ill just text the photos.
She lost her glasses and we found them on the roof. Don't ask questions. Kings cup was intense last night.
Good. We don't answer calls at dick thirty.
That sad moment when you flush your Molly down the toilet at the airport & watch your vacation slowly end..
her tits were more amazing then brown bears with armor and guns that fire bullets of Justice that destroys inequality.
you should probably know that there's a naked dude in your window
i wouldn't normally say anything but you seem to not be there
I think my AA sponsor just booty called me.
How am I supposed to buy weed and pancake mix when it's raining?
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