I want to dip my vagina in sugar. Not only will it be sweet, but it will have a nice sparkle.
I can't belive they dont sell booze Sunday mornings. I mean some of us have to work
I love online classes. Spent the last part of my lecture taking apart a teabag and filling it with weed.
I guess I just laid down next to him with the entire pot of mac n cheese and started giving him a handie with one hand and eating with the other
yo your bro wants to know what time he got home and were you hosing him off
Hurricane Sex Time is the only thing iv said since it started.
You remember that guy i fucked in Ireland who stopped in the middle to talk about why he had 8 pillows on his bed? Yeah he's following me on twitter...
I tried to interpretive dance to Candy Shop to stop the awkwardness.
He still texted me and invited me over a day later so I guess I'm the lovable kind of psycho
Dude I turned down free booze. I think I'm growing as a person.
I walked over and you were apologizing to him because you're lady gaga and he's not. The best part was that he forgave you.
She was pretty impressed that I led all thirty of us back to campus in my state of drunk. Evidently so impressed that she now refers to me as "Moses" in bed.
I'm assuming you were here at some stage because I woke up alone, clean and in a towel with mum asking my why my shoes, dress and jewellery were in the bottom of the shower.
Everyone else's "needs" are getting in the way of my alcoholism.
Well the cops were called after the kid fell, but we saw 4 cute guys from our window while it was going down, so it wasn't all that bad.
Randomize
