i half slept with him but i still dont owe you any money
i think 'regret' was last night's theme. i could taste it in my mouth and woke up next to it.
I can't believe he cheated
Whatever. Anytime she has an orgasm, it's because I taught him how
do people in england often walk their sheep on leashes? or is this guy the exception to the rule?
and now I know what throwing up pineapple chunks is like.
Yeah, we had those soaking in vodka for like 36 hours
outstanding.
It was odd. His friends dick tasted the same as his. Friends are beginning to have to much in common
At this point I feel like i'm never going to be sober, and it's frightening
How do you get mayonnaise out of... well jesus it's everywhere, let's start with carpets
Is it acceptable to cry on a Friday or am I supposed to drink to forget it?
I may have just made our entire microwave glow green. Like big green. Like spark and make me shit green.
Like worse than the time I blew up the microwave with the egg green.
I pulled up iMessage on my computer and I'm pretty sure two people in my class saw that dick pic you sent. Sorry!
Take off your clothes and see if he wants to have sex, that's a good way to find out
My body looks like ricotta cheese had a vacation
Fun. You missed it. Michael broke a door with his erection.
I’m sorry, some of us common-folk don’t have access to steady dick
Randomize
