hes so high that he's convinced hes a duck. hes squating in the bathtub quacking. that was NOT JUST pot.
the cop cuffed us all with 40's still taped to our hands
Just proof I should've brought the airhorn with me to class.
Drank another frat president under the table. Thinking of starting my own, gonna call it Alpha Phi Alcoholics
Just did my hair and make up at mcdonalds so we're in the same boat.
Hahaahaah I keep finding little notes you left me on my physics notes... "TOO HIGH FOR BIRDS"
I woke up to see that I had ripped my boxers into a loin cloth because we were watching last of the mohicans
I think I accidentally agreed to be someone's surrogate
I have commenced my lesbian college experimentation. Wish me luck
So we decided we're going to stop having sex...except for tonight. And probably tomorrow.
And as drunk as I was I was able to show my mom how to make text italicized in Microsoft word
Never start off a conversation with "speaking of STD's..."
i cant hook up i'm covered in egg rolls
Im too stoned for my mom to be picking up hitch hikers. Help.
why yes, bad decisions will be made starting at 3PM Thurs through 8PM on Sun. You have been warned. Plan accordingly.
Randomize
