i seriously hope you fucking die....you are the worst.
SHit! Sorry, sent to wrong person
I thought at least he would want to exchange numbers after he tried to put it in my bum
went out last night and woke up on the bathroom floor again, thinking about just moving my bed in there.
giving him head while hes talking to his fiancee on the phone about inviting me to their wedding.... im invited. should i go or would that be wrong?
Worst part of St. Paddy's...me drunkenly crying to a U2 cover band.
She was singing my heart will go on into her barf bag. celine aint got shit on her.
theres so much semen in my vacuum cleaner...
dont worry about it. i always have emergency bong water with me
when i got there he was on top of an air mattress in the middle of the pool with a bag of doritos and a 40 telling people he needed his space.
apparently he's bringing me two things i like. he said one was him and i'm assuming the other one is his penis
I need a full description of the guy I hooked up with. I don't think I ever saw his face
he seemed brazillian..
fuck.
It will be like a scavenger hunt.. only we're looking for places to have sex.
He sent me a snap of him eating a tamale shirtless. I think I might be in love.
LOCK HIM DOWN.
Trust me. My dick only does selfies for you.
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
Randomize
