Please forgive me. I will pay for your emergency room visit.
Hey its my first time.
I think you mean "it's my first time"
sitting in room practicing taking shots. has my life come to this?
U handed him a box of flavored condoms, winked, and slurred, "grape juice is her favorite."
She gave me head while using a laptop on my stomach to go online. I've never seen a better feat of multitasking.
oh, i've got big weekend plans. on an unrelated note, do you think viagra will work if the guy is roofied?
the game I always play with drunk me is can-you-button-and-unbutton things? If the answer is no, go home. Usually it's his pants
Denis dont give a fuck, Denis drinks out of straws. Denis disregards the fire station & bought 18 fire hoses so he can fight it himself if the farmhouse is on fire.
The guy next to me in the library just got a call from his roommate asking him to come bail him out of jail...we need to step up our game.
Still not sure if my open-bar-week-long-trip to Cuba is the best idea as a congratulations-for-my-sober-february-challenge. My liver might just explode and give up.
The extent of "getting it in" was this creepy guy sticking his finger in my bellybutton
You're the horniest male I have ever encountered
Makes it sound like you're a scientist documenting your discoveries. I warned you.
Im 76 percent sure I took a fully clothed shower last night.
Eventually I will start sleeping with people who actually want to hangout with me the next day... But not today
But really, what kind of hoe life adventure in Mexico would you do that would top me blowing a trucker?
Randomize
