Have you ever noticed how boring internet porn is after you cum? I can't shut my computer fast enough.
hey got me stoned for the first time when i was 14. there is no bond stronger
He walked me home last night across campus while i fed him pasta out of a solo cup at 3 am.
It starts with an S and ends with arah just gave me a bj.
She just fell in the river. Meet us downstream with the bottle.
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
Also, as my manager i'm going to put you in charge of making sure i don't drown.
I just spent 10 min explaining to my mom how orange is a strange color. I think she knows
I'm ready to take a few years of my life this weekend
Come out Saturday. It's for my lesbian daughter from the future birthday.
I think we've reached the point in the summer were we need to go back to school. I was so bored yesterday I nearly bought blow dart gun.
I need to see you idiots before I go back to school. But we shouldn't snort Crown Royal this time.
Dude on a beach in sicily and a blonde jesus just smoked us out and then tried to makeout with me I am never leaving this place
I'm literally trapped as the little spoon on a mattress on the floor of an unfinished basement with a professional athlete snoring in my hair
im having flashbacks to my time in a waffle cult composed of 9 to 14 year olds
Randomize
