Im gonna name my vag after egypt, "the valley of kings"
For some reason I just don't think you going to the gay bar alone on thanksgiving is a good idea.
I need to cry about outer space to someone. Can I call you?
Im drunk on a hayride surrounded by toddlers. they are judging me.
So are you still down for me to come stay with you and just have sex on vicodin all weekend?
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I'm lowering my standards just so I can get laid, but I draw the line when a guy spells cool kewl
I think it's starting to become crucial that I find a companion for my vagina.
I'm watching a man in drag spread food products on his face my life is spiraling out of control.
Don't matter if she's straight, I'll get her. I'm not called The Transformer for nothing
It was a shot marathon. It only ended because we werent drinking in our house apparently we walked into the nieghbors. When they got home thy were soooooo pissed.
I slept with a Brazillian Man, That's why I'm Watching The World Cup
Is a coke binge Whole30 approved?
My vagina is very pro this idea
you drug him to get him horny then deny him sex. freaks.
Just got an x-ray done of my hip and you can clearly see the outline of my penis in it. When the doctor saw it she said "wow I haven't seen one that big on an x-ray before." Pretty sure the doc and the nurses are going to be talking about me on their lunch break.
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