4:12a: just got back to his place now. I don't want to talk about it
Well we can cross off dogs, dating sites, and real life as ways to help you meet a chick.
Well, you're either very drunk or very high but I'll let it slide because I love any type of conversation concerning cheese.
We have literally factored in $2200 for bail money in the budget. This vegas trip will be out of hand. We are signing confidentiality contracts.
I respect you for how well you shave your vagina. It isn't easy and my dick faces out, not in.
Im just saying it can't be that bad if he drove himself to the er. We'll head that way when we finish playing scattergories
Our sex has gotten so much better since we broke up.
That penis will go down in history. It's the Helen of Troy of dicks. I will conquer it and the tale will live on for future generations to learn from
I told him that he was essentially a very life-like dildo with a person attached so he needed to stop having feelings because it was getting annoying. He agreed.
Found out it was only pneumonia. We celebrated hydrocodone cough syrup. Two long island ice teas at lunch and the random white powder we found in her purse. Mother of the year award.
I just call them the hipster frat because they wear shirts other than pastel polos and listen to MGMT while playing dice.
I don't want a mention or even a whisper of a Shakespeare Festival by that or any other name including, but not limited to, a fucking Renaissance Fair. Are we clear? It will be a DEALBREAKER .
I love 3rd shift and working at a hotel I just had a late night booty call while I was getting paid..could life get any better??
Just had a customer call his drug dealer in front of me but act like it was normal call.
I am so horny. It's like all the stress of finals week has relocated to my vagina.
Randomize
