I guess she didn't feel like it. There was hair all over it and everything
You cleaned out the gashes in your leg from hopping that fence with that whipped cream vodka, didnt you?
Yes perhaps we are both wrong. And did you call me bj girl?
You rolled around in the grass BEFORE we went in and said it was because "ladies love that eau de earth"
I wish there was an emoji to express our Eskimo Brothership
It's a toss up. They'll either laugh and watch you drunkenly fuck on the beach or they'll throw you deep in Mexican jail.
I HAVE A GENTLEMANLY VAGINA.
All he did was like my Instagram picture and I'm already planning how to turn down sex with him this weekend...
I got drunk by myself and ended up listening to Beethoven in the dark.
Tonight I celebrated marriage equality by letting a girl I don't know kiss me at the club.
She gave you a handy in the bar and you were surprised she was good with a dick?
Hahah good point
Is 28 too old to get fingered in Centennial Park? Asking for a friend.
Then he kissed my hand sensually and said "you're a Black Queen. Don't let anyone tell you different."
I did cocaine with my cab driver all night. It was the best date.
I didn't really understand how big 10 inches is. Now I know.
Randomize
