She went from zero to smokin in five shots
Flying into Chicago for a few days, getting re-deployed in September, we should probably fuck
Kristina got the same text from you just now, she's sitting next to me, how many people did you send this to?
At least you weren't that one girl in the bar that was letting everyone draw on her in sharpie. Worst decision I've ever witnessed.
His band may suck, but it's not like I'm sleeping with all of them.
The one from last night got me a whole floor of Eskimo Brothers. There was a celebration of high fiving as I left
i don't care how ready and willing she is. she is where penises go to die
The only reason anyone found out he threw up is because everyone heard it sizzle the bonfire out.
Hi Jessica this is Jessica and I am texting you and were taking lime shots and it's fantastic and I broke your elbow and I love you xo
Well, my nose won't stop bleeding from really bad cocaine and my purse is full of plastic gold coins. Also, someone saved in my phone as "tyrannosaurus sex" won't quit texting me. Savannah won. Let's put it that way.
We will. we just need a little inspiration.... in smoke form.
I think I've had 45 beers today though So things are looking up.
It's been two days. I am still burping up jello. Everything tastes like jello. Everything smells like jello. I am DONE with jello shots.
Is "sorry I booted you out mid-fuck last night" a good icebreaker?
Some girl just walked passed me, said "fuck yeah!" and is now crawling up the stairs
I can't decide if I miss drinking or you, they are so closely connected.
Randomize
