ugh, i have officially sinned in all of my cute clothes. i can't even wear any of them without feeling regret.
i guess you could say your face is two degrees of separation from my balls
I'm watching Terminator eating a jar of marshmallow fluff. Trust me, you are not fat.
you puked on the porch, i can see your jacket on the floor next to your underwear. i know your home, unchain the door, you're the worst roommate ever.
My only regret is that I have but one penis to give to your vagina.
He showed up at my house, drunk, proclaiming that he needed to fuck me...my dad let him in
I'd rather not be labeled as that girl who came over, drank a bunch of their alcohol, woke up the 5 year old, broke shit and left
Now I'm ashamed that I wore a bra
I think I almost ran over some kid I went to high school with. Guilt factor: moderate to low.
I just paid $10 for tinder plus so that I could change my location to Rio and match with Olympic Athletes
I'm going to ride your dick until it falls off. That horny.
I'm equal parts terrified and turned on. Come over.
Just let me put on a bra and brush the alcohol out of my hair.
I dont even know what happened i just remember waking up with beer cans outlining my body...
The air tonight was full of shame when we saw each other.
Well if u wouldn't have had sex on the front porch last night I think that could have been avoided.
I'll be coming off of 7 days of not drinking. No horse tranqs either. I haven't been this sober since I was in the womb
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