try this...when you orgasm scream his address including city state and zip...
Ever since they found the bud they've been sending me visa gift cards instead of cash. Bastards.
Vibrator and massage oils got stopped at security. Super.
all nice guys are gay and all hot ones are assholes
You're fat. Stop making excuses
You did that scary laugh you always do when you're blacking out except she's never heard it before and though you were choking and screamed at all of us when we didn't call an ambulance
She actually was beyond drunk but she for some reason kept calling herself a demigod and made me drive her to a bookstore
Everywhere I look there's another kitten this is so ideal
Can I live on acid? Kittens man. Kittens.
So is it safe to say that my only objective from last night is to finish this entire jar of peanut butter?
Do you think casino weekend will remind us once again that we in fact are not mature enough to be this old?
You couldn't even walk but you came into the kitchen with the funnel and begged me to put beer in it
Dude, I can't even reach my asshole to wipe it. I have a lot more to be thankful for this Thanksgiving.
I can't help you there
You kept ripping all your clothes off and saying, "Let me be free!"
Well I typed "penicillin a" into the search engine and before I could finish "penicillin and drinking" popped up. Google knows me too well.
His sister gave me the "if you hurt him I will break your neck" talk. I didn't know how to tell her we're not a couple.
She put her coat on went to leave and called me an asshole. I responded with "I never said I wasn't" and then she pounced on me like a cat on cat nip.
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