She's never had brie before last night, don't know if I can date a girl that doesn't like soft cheeses.
dude my 8 year old cousin is allowed to drink wine coolers. as long as its infront of my aunt. wtf
So here i am dipping ice cream in my vodka and watching the bad girls club on demand. This is not ok
I don't care how high you are, you can't finger me while eating potato chips.
Just did a line with lance bass. Only in NY
This old guy just saw me toking on my bubbler before I go to the dentist. He gave me the nod.
Rick Santorum just suspended his campaign. Lets celebrate by watching gay pornography together.
NO I FORBID YOU. THERE ARE BETTER VIRGINITIES OUT THERE WORTH KIDNAPPING.
The highlight of my night was when you proclaimed that the man standing next to you smelt like grape medicine...
Is it weird that I noticed my lower half feels strange and then further realized it's bc I'm wearing underwear to bed for the first time in weeks..maybe months?
You FaceTimed me at three in the morning while you were peeing. Your eyes were glazed over and you showed me your bellybutton.
Looks like he unfriended you too. I feel like we were both just handed negative pregnancy tests.
He is currently passed out on his toilet. Point day drinking.
I found a used condom and a hairbrush in my dryer this morning.
Hiring someone to do your laundry would be a good investment.
Well I've decided to refuse to conform to society and be naked the rest of the day.
Randomize
