We've finally become those guys who you'd see in middle school when you went to the park who are just stoned out of their minds sitting on the swings.
you thought you were invisible so you started narrating your actions.
It's officially time to start saving up weed money for the NCAA tournament
I don't know, I don't really wanna ask the question, "Mom why am I not circumcised?"
but then i turned into a human whiteboard because i thought it was a good idea to bring out markers
It feels wrong to have dick mouth at a family dinner.
OMG the post office opened my dildo! "we sincerely regret the damage to your package"
sudden memory flashback: you and i having sex on the bed, erin sitting naked in your desk chair drinking whiskey straight from the bottle while harassing you for your computer password to play some "mood music." high five. go us.
I think my vagina is phsycic. All day it tingled and then BAM Channing Tatums look alike fucks me like ive never been fucked in my life.
It's national boyfriend day supposedly, would it be appropriate if I posted a picture of my dildo?
Def over. He sent me a nude selfie but cropped it right above his junk. Total Silence of the Fucking lambs looking.
I'm trying to get laid this Halloween, not inspire the next season of AHS
BTW, Julia referred to you as a power bottom. Are you available?
On today's episode of "What the Shit Did I Do Last Night," drunk me deleted ALL of the text messages I've ever had. Awesome.
He's teaching me French for free and I'm giving him blowjobs. Win-win.
Randomize
