do you think my med school application would be worse off if "I like helping others and shit" slipped into an essay I emailed last night?
You stole her bday cake and shared it with drunk strangers on the street.
Do you think it would be a good idea to mention in my admissions essay that I was the guy that streaked across the soccer field last year?
You do realize that we got a stripper to do the YMCA for us on the main stage... Right?
When my alarm went off, he rolled over and asked me: Bacon or dick? Yes, I will see him again.
I went out in a blaze of glory. I failed the field sobriety test by saying ABCD FUCK YOU.
Blew a line and having a jolly rancher... the day is looking up.
Serious question...Is it possible to get a DUI on a kayak?
The look on the dr's face when she asked me the last time i had sex and i responded "like an hour and a half ago" ... priceless
Her delivery came. She's ordered a pack of 144 condoms.
No, it's cool, I just bounced from the hospital. I was...talking to a security guard, maybe?
Sorry for pissing on y'all's floor last night
Tell me again why we had to Facebook stalk your therapist?
No, you are in the clear. The police officer finally just said "I give up" and walked away.
Also, my guy said they would be around. And i clarified that when I asked him for mushrooms he didn't hear "a mushroom or two" but rather understood I meant "all the mushrooms you can find between now and 4th of July."
Randomize
