There is an asian family here, I heard the mom call her son onyong
Hey, don't feel sorry for me, the two girls in front of me just ordered 18 dollars worth of taco bell. Life could be worse.
If we don't get kicked out of this hotel tonight for fucking too loud we're breaking up
Ate apple sauce off his penis. Nutritious and slutty.
We literaly had to peel your fingers off the jose cuervo bottle and lock it in someones room
Next test. Underwater blowjob. If you fail...out of water blow job
I just had my first non-cocaine-induced nosebleed for the first time in 2 years. This calls for a celebration.
We told you to go get more fire wood and you came running back with a log that was on fire, not drunk at all.
My mouth tastes like what I imagine a hobo's skin would taste like.
I knew it was a bad night when the only thing I could remember was you force feeding me tortilla chips as I hugged the tire of my car and begged to have my stomach pumped.
I hope Team Snapchat has been enjoying our sex snaps all this week.
Bjs and tacos. That's my life.
but, alas, I am not the lady in the streets. I'm simply the freak in the sheets.
No joke. There's a picture of the priest I made out with on my parents' refrigerator.
Road head absolutely translates. That's the beauty of road head... It's so portable!
Randomize
