i thought she was just hairy. i didn't know she was also a man.
I'm at a crab and wine festival with my dad. He just introduced me as his girlfriend to all of his co-workers. I am so drunk I thought he was serious.
Just bored and untired. I want to be in Austin. At college. Drinking someone elses alcohol. Am I asking too much of life?
you are the best fuck buddy i could have, all the others get feelings and morals involved
UD be completely fine. you don't lose control just keep a positive environment. for example i really want to lick the wall cause red is delicious but i don't have to.
I queefed so loud it echoed.
Hey can we break in your window? We need to borrow the dog.
You were screaming across the bar "BUYING US SHOTS ISN'T GOING TO MAKE US STRAIGHT, YA KNOW!!!!!!!!"
We sang "Whole New World" in harmony and he spun me around. You may now barf from the cuteness.
Well I don't know him that well so I don't think I can give advice. You should make him a cake. Or have sex with him.
also, the amount of semen in my carpet right now is unforgivable...
I don't mean to complain but you could have done a better job of keeping me alive last night
I think I'm gonna quit partying for awhile. Piercing my own nose is where I draw the line.
i need something from you. video yourself doing naked jumping jacks and send it to me. it will make me smile
can you take a pic of your glorious tits but not send it just yet? I need motivation to finish this bull shit presentation.
Randomize
