Me too!
he thought i was passed out so he proceeded to jerk off while i lay on the floor next to him
Girl next to me in class just said to her friend "and I haven't even cried yet." Challenge accepted
Who the hell poured a whole pouch of Capri Sun down my throat last night?
when you wake up try not to move. we are betting to see if more sprinkles stuck to you or the pong table.
whiskey
stop
tequila
you're fuckin up my ability to be a agrown up
However today I got my lube that might I add was dripping out of the box. I'd like to think my mailman was mixing business with pleasure.
LESSON OF THE DAY: Saying Everclear gets you out of explaining anything.
She said she wouldn't get out of hand. When the cops showed up she jumped off the 4ft high porch and fell into a ditch. She then buried herself because she was wearing light pants and though the light from the cops flashlights would reflect off her pants. We couldn't find her for 40 minutes.
I fucked him while wearing his hat. I love the navy
No he reached for my hand at the beach. I pretended to be a seagull.
Pretty sure I just scored Election Day sex based on the theory that if either of these fools win the world as we know it is over so we might as well get a few orgasms in...
I couldn't figure out what was more important, finishing the shot or putting out the fire on my leg.
Where is everybody?
It's pretty much split between the strip club and jail.
Can I use your boat
Also, what’s the deal with international water? Do they have signs out there like a city does or do I need a map?
WTH is going on? It’s the middle of the night
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