whats the name of the jew you used to have sex with that lives on evergreen?
be more specific...?
im going to have to ask you to stop vomiting stars, rainbows, and butterflies all over your facebook statuses...
I think i accidentally made vodka pancakes
just ran into a kid I used to hook up with while wearing his shirt. Only me. I tried to pretend like it wasn't his but it said his name on the back so I wasn't winning that.
She uses my penis to point at the tv when we talk about the shows. I love her
i'm traumatized. his orgasm face consisted of him looking like my dead grandfather and burping.
I have a date tonight... Like a real date... Not the kind where you just go over to his house and have sex and then never speak again.
Just casually ripping a bowl in the chicken coop, with the chickens. NBD
DONT TALK SHIT ABOUT LUNCHABLES
I hate to stick you with the friend but I did all the work.
Why aren't you two playing Dora the explorer with each other's genitals yet?
Xanax and cookies, it's good to be home
that is either the most profound and meaningful thing i've ever heard, or someone got high before noon again.
I ended up changing her contact in my phone to "O Great Potato".
So was it everything you dreamed it would be
I puked.
Twice.
So is that a yes?
Randomize
