a smallpox vaccine scar is like a lower back tattoo.
he'll be my respectable boyfriend for tksgiving and i'll be his non-slutty girlfriend for christmas.
and then ....
he stays my gay friend and my parents think i'm not a slut.
Okay well someone asked "IS HE HOMELESS?" about me so I need to try and find somebody.
Speaking is such a hard concept right now
...he tried to burn down someone's house once. ABORT ABORT ABORT
I have no idea why I said that. I have no idea why anything happened last night, I broke my toaster making a egg. I'm going to quit drinking.
Dude, she brought over peach cobbler, weed and alcohol plus I'm gonna get laid. She's by far the coolest sister you have.
Im dating a 38 year old who's lap I can fit in. Tell me I don't have daddy issues.
I have commenced my lesbian college experimentation. Wish me luck
The lowest point of my life has been reached. I just drank half a jar of pasta sauce.
An orgasm and grocery shopping is the appropriate start to every Monday.
I'm only fucking women born in the 90s this summer
Please don't think I'm weird for texting you this at 12:08 am but I just found another picture on the Internet where I think you can see his dick through whatever he's wearing
It's 7am. I'm making pizza & watching the Matrix. I will not be bothered.
To answer your next question, yes, I'm drunk.
He cut off part of his middle finger playing the knife game while singing The Knife Game Song at the top of his lungs. He also scream like a girl when his finger hit the floor and he realized he fucked up.
Randomize
