Wow, your whole life is a joke regardless of the fact that its april fools day
I got date raped at Sigma Chi last night!
Dude, you never made it to Chi last night. You fell into a tree and passed out.
I play with my boobs when I'm bored. I playwith my nipples whe I'm drunk
Sign #1 this conference will suck: Ice breaker question, how many proud virgins do we have in the room, overwhelming response. Looks like I'm not getting laid this weekend.
well judging by the amount of dired blood around my nipple rings i'm gonna assume it was a good night
He is so amazingly handsome. I just wanna fuck every shred of decency out of him.
I turned around and there were three 10 year old kids running around with sparklers. Weirdest college part ever.
Welcome to Philly.
i need to un-sleep with a few of those brothers before we ever go back to that house again. i'm serious. i will not be a fraternity groupie.
YOU IS KIND. YOU IS SMART. YOU IS IMPORTANT. YOU IS CLEANING YOUR OWN VOMIT.
I never thought it would be so hard to find a power hour partner at 2 on a Wednesday
He came and farted at the same time. My life is over.
help. there is a guy in a bunny costume.
Long story short I ended up getting choked out by a really hot guy in the girls bathroom at a bar last night
21st birthday weekend in Vegas has concluded and all I'm missing is my underwear and 'Contacts' icon on my phone home screen.
not even sure this counts as hungover but like my body can't exist in reality today
Randomize
