Yeah true. Damn vaginas. They're ruining the world.
Awkward medical moment of the day: A very obese girl with a disorder that literally makes her hit herself punched herself in the face. Literally. While screaming 'MCDONALDS MONEY'. Right. Beside. Me.
If I could pick any std, I would pick genital herpes. Seriously. Have you seen the commercials? The lady is riding a fucking bike, swimming, and on a date. I have a perfectly fine vag and all I do is go to the library.
Most awkward thing ever: Meeting your BattleShits opponent post war.
Friends are holding an intervention and have no idea this gatorade is half vodka. This is gonna be the best intervention ever.
Oh shit. Easter I forgot. Maybe we should leave the illegal stuff for when Jesus is less present.
IDK who she called, but some guy came into the party, flying drop kicked Joe said never again. She has to invite him around again.
Dude this deaf chick is totally hot, I just bought an apartment on boner ave
lesson #1 of freshman year: grinding with a sombrero is difficult
My dad just accidentally taught me how to make fake IDs. I love my life.
As we have told you before, the first rule of hook-up bingo is we don't talk about hook-up bingo
My card got declined when I tried to buy dippin dots at 2 am, the lady gave them to me for free because "I looked like I needed them."
It's finals week and I'm halfway done with this bag of wine and don't plan on stopping. Say goodbye to my GPA
Went to open youtube this morning, and the last search was "ten hours of whale sounds" Best pillow talk ever!
there were rolls with just one bite out of each one leading to the bedroom. you were laying on the bed naked and yelled 'you did it you followed the bread crumbs!'
Randomize
