thus making me awesome and them whores
1 stripper is 160/hr. 2 strippers is 280/hr. it would be fiscaly irresponsible to only get one.
she told me her two favorite things were grocery stores and dick.
tailgaiting my last final, a perfect sendoff.
Is it too much to ask that he stop calling me 'titty fuck' in public?
I always have trouble explaining my life decisions to people over the age of 30.
it was not a walk of shame, it was a ferry ride of shame, and i'm not ashamed, so technically it was just an early morning ferry ride. wearing yesterday's clothing
and semen
It's like a party bus, but there's a glass, airtight wall separating the driver from the passengers, and once everyone's on, they pump vaporized THC into the cabin.
It feels kinda weird thanking you for sucking my dick, but I just don't know what else to do right now
I think a kid would responsible me up
It wasn't good. I can tell by the way he fucks me he watched too much porn
i wasnt sure i had a crush on her until i woke up this morning and saw i had googled fifteen variations of "lesbian marriage in estonia". where the fuck is estonia
There's a guy running dressed as a bunny toward your house.
How'd your date go last night?
Well I blacked out at 1:30 and woke up naked in not-my-date's bed with an uneaten Jimmy John's sandwich.
I hate being on my period . Did you know that by the time I'm 30 I would've wasted 1,176 days of my life I could've had sex but couldn't bc I was on my period.
Randomize
